Someone who is conscious of this reality might ask themselves: Isn't it a little bothersome to have someone looking at you all the time? To someone who does not know what God's watch is like, it is logical that he react this way. He may be invaded by fear, or the uneasiness of being continually before the curious, vigilant stare of an omnipotent being.
Isaac speaks of 'fear of God'. What is fear of God? There are different types of fears. One, that of he who rejects God but fears his wrath. But another is that of the caring son who knows his own frailty and does not wish to cause pain to his Father. This feeling of fear before a God who is father is actually a gift from God himself that consists in our knowing that we are lovingly watched by Him. It is knowing ourselves to be uncovered before his protective sight, a sight which looks upon us with loving interest, like someone who sees something that is dearly his. The fear of our Father is the attitude that is born from the conscience of being accompanied by Him and being before His just and holy judgment and not being able to escape his infinite cares.
How does God look upon us?
Sight influences those who know themselves to be watched, but there are many ways of knowing that we are being watched.
There are curious stares full of bad intentions. These are harmful to the person under them; they bother, they don't let one act freely. They are forbidding stares which make one defensive.
There are stares of antipathy, which hurt and push away.
There are inexpressive and cold glares, which express indifference, that result offensive and even humiliating.
There are also stares that esteem and manifest care, that help and make us feel free.
There are generous eyes which transmit optimism and hope.
There are looks of love, that melt the hardness and open what was closed, that release what was tied. They inspire strength in those who are tired and know themselves to be defeated, give life to those who are weakened and awaken hope in those that doubt. It brings freedom and help bring out the best in us. Such is the loving look that God casts upon us.
God loves all that he has created. His sight is love itself. He looks upon all his creatures and sees them in all their truth. And when seeing them, he feels as expressed in the Genesis when narrating the creation: "God then saw all he has created, and he felt it was all very good" (Genesis 1, 31). God looks with care, with the satisfaction of one who contemplates his dream come true, with the desire to protect and continue rejoicing in his creation.
| "The Lord sees all the possibilities of each person and indicates to him different ways of making the most of them. He sees what is evil and weighs it, he sees sin and judges it, and his judgment penetrates to the deepest bottom, where no one can hide. But he has told us that he is love, compassion, forgiveness, salvation and in his watch over us, all these things are expressed." (Romano Guardini, "The Spirit of the Living God", Pauline, Bogota 1992, pg. 38) |
What does it mean that God's sight protects us?
When someone knows us really well, but doesn't like us, his presence is uncomfortable. His stare may be intimidating; he strips us. We feel uncovered before that person.
The watch of God does not strip, but protects us. He keeps our secret and he's on our side, because his stare is love. That's why those who know the sight of God and its ways seek it and want it. He who has an intimate happiness or who suffers within due to a humiliating reality or for an embarrassing act, seeks to place it uncovered before who he knows will understand because he loves. He places before his sight the secret and that way finds relief, because he knows that the watch of he who sees protects him well, and gives him a chance to receive help.
That is how we are before the active watch of God.
Sometimes it's not possible to do anything else. The least we can do is let Him see. Often times we cannot repent with the sincerity that would be convenient. At least let God see it. What's more, God should see all in our interior world, even if we are incapable of repenting at all. In reality, God sees it all, including the bad that surges when we pretend to hide it all, when we live subjectively without the console of knowing ourselves to be seen. He looks at us with love always, but in order to recieve his blessings and help we must "let ourselves be seen".
There is always in us something wrong and defective, but these limits do not produce death if we expose them to the eyes of God. With just voluntarily wanting to allow the eyes of God to look at us, we have placed the starting point of our own renovation. Everything is possible when God wants it. All is in danger when God does not want it.
Why is it tough for us to be sincere?
When we don't open ourselves to the eyes of God it is because we also don't dare to open our eyes to ourselves and our own interior. Sincerity with God calls for sincerity with oneself.
And when we don't dare to look in our own interior, it is because we will find in it the things we fear we cannot stand. These things can be our weaknesses and natural limitations or the dirty trail of our sins.
When we are conscientious that our being is the result of the loving watch of God, our limitations mean very, very little to us because, if God wants me this way, why would I be nervous because I am not any other way?
I don't need to wonder if I am worth more or less, because God wants me that way and his infinite love gives me an enormous richness. I am worth this because God wants me: He is my father. In this way, all the possible problems of my self-esteem can be dispelled. I can confirm surely that I hardly need worry about my esteem, because God esteems me highly with his love.
Sometimes it is all about the shameful mark of our own sins. We dare not look to what we have done, what we have thought or desired, because it causes horror in us. We can never hope to be sincere with ourselves.
In this, Christians have a great advantage. We know that Jesus has already paid for each of our sins and he awaits our repent. With Penance, our sins are erased. With the repented confession of our sins, we may be absolved and our soul can be free from the horrors within us.
Thanks to the Penance that Jesus has offered us to receive, Christians may have the 'luxury' of being absolutely sincere. There are people who, after having committed a great crime against God, need to erase and remove it from their memory, burying it in their subconscious. Sometimes, this provokes great perturbations. We however have the assurance that God forgives us and looks upon us with care, allows us to confront whatever may come. We can afford to be sincere.
